summer is ending..tts a bummer but glad alot of good things happen during this long hols…

no more being emo-ly sad

no more being dropped by the national team

no more being single for a long long time i hope(haha!)

no more regrets

no more troubles

just filled with happiness,joy, love and great great memories to come and be made(:

just really happy and loved with God, my family, loved ones, great frens and my one and only eminlay..(:..

pray to God that He has a great plan installed for me and hand everything and my wonderful family and frens into His Almighty’s Hands..Love U Lord

Amen

a girl’s heart i broke

is she really gone

the door closed forever

wish time could be turned back

so i could make things right

does love conquer all

let’s dance under the moonlight

as together we are in love

now i know

why didnt i ask

uningsay ouldway ouyay ebay ymay irlfriendgay?

regret

lost

hurt

tears

you

will be in me forever

ps: i love u

Many people are driven by guilt. Many people are driven by resentment and anger. Many people are driven by fear. Many people are driven by materialism. Many people are driven by the need for approval. Are you one of that people that are driven by all these?

I am one of those people and have come to realise how wrong the path it can go to….where somewhere God would never want us to be…and that is darkness and lonliness….hurt and confused…lost and unforgiven…

Nothing really matters more than knowing God’s purposes for my life, and nothing can compensate for not  knowing them- not success, wealth, fame, or pleasure. Without a purpose, life is motion without meaning, activity without direction, and events without reason. Without a purpose, life is trivial petty, and pointless.

What drives me is knowing God is in my life and heart.
Having a relationship with Him is never boring, never confusing, just pure and awasome.

Taking a break from my burning midnight oil in SMU library and the time is 0329hrs of 20th november. Never felt so happy studying and while having a break cum quiet time with Him makes me feel His presence. The peace He has given me. 

Lord, i pray that you continue to work in me and my loved ones, friends and those who have not gotten to know you for you are an awesome God that reigns in this World. Blessed them and protect them for You are the Almighty God. Thank you Lord  for so many things, constant love, happiness, some stress to mold me and obstacles to make me stronger. Lord, my life is yours and my purpose is for You. Amen.

We werent put on earth to be remembered. We were put here to prepare for eternity.

Hope is as essential to our life as air and water. We need Hope to Cope. We need Love to Live(:

People who are feeling down, stressed and rejected, God is always here for u and for me.

It’s not about me; it’s about God. 

Everything got started in him and finds its purpose in him. Colossians 1:16

In spite of all the things around me, how can i remind myself that life is really about living for God, not myself?

Cause without Him, i would not have become who i am, what i have and the love i receive. HE is always supporting me and carrying me through the darkness and i live for Him. Show me the way Lord.

Btw exams are around the corner, i’ve been mugging rather “diligently” in the school library and luckily for me i have five great friends, Derek, Enjian, Ben, Minru and lastly sweet Caroline. We have become a close knit group, who cares if we are not cool and some might think we are loud, crazy and maybe uncool. But nonetheless, we have bonded and have really stuck with one another for this first term and seven more terms to go; ok minru would be five more. SMU is crazily stressful and mugger however with these five friends, SMU is fun, chill, encouraging and it’s made SMU the best school to be in. Cant imagine SMU without them.(: I really want to thank God for them and know that God has brought six of us together to keep each other going and to remind ourselves that He is always looking after us.

Without rugby in my life, it’s hard to not play what i love but God has punished me for what i have done. It’s really time for me to grow up and mature in Rugby. I play for HIM and all my glory is for him, and when i started playing for myself and for winning, i lost it and became someone He did not condone and he made me realise it. SO i’m really thankful for his reminder and his punishment. I would work harder and play harder for HIM for he has given me this talent. Oh ya, he provides in the most subtle way, with the suspension from SMU, SRU wanted to suspend me which is nonsense but God provided me with a lawyer, an old acs boy, rather cool ah, but thanks Johnny for helping me appeal and just handing all to HIM to take care of this SRU nonsense.

So God is always there and he has and is in my heart. Need to constantly pray and talk to him and not forget to listen to him. Cause we love to ask ask ask but when did we listen to what he has gotta say to us. SO listen and do what he wants. Love u Lord and my life is yours and thank you for being with me and pray that you bless my five great friends and bring us through this exams”(:

A life devoted to things is a dead life, a stump; a God-shaped life is a fllourishing tree.

Dear Lord,
Broken heart, broken spirit, broken relationship, broken me.
Mend my heart, soul and mind lord.
Lead me and bring me to become what you want of me.
For i am torn and in need.
For only you know what’s best for me.
Pray for my loved ones, friends and those who i have offended or hurt.
Forgive me.
Believe in me.
Give me strength, wisdom and love.
For i hand my life into your hands and i miss you.
In your holy name, Amen

It’s been a while since i blogged…ages ago…

so many many things have happen to me…ups and downs…happy and sad….tears of joy and lost….in sim now in SMU…attach but now single….HOWEVER ALL IS FINE UNTIL

NOW, i am just feeling lost and confuse…the only passion and love i thought would never betray me and never forsake me has forsaken me….My RUGBY….dropped from the World Cup Qualifiers Singapore team BECAUSE OF “LACK OF FITNESS AND FOCUS”, said by IAN BREMNER..really IAN?…I am Bryan Ng…I am the fittest in the team and i am so passionate and focus in rugby that i did really stupid and crazy stuff just so to help scc win the U23 and smu win the SUNIG 7’s…i also have been going down for almost all the trainings the past few weeks even with school work and modelling work overwhelming me…and to add on..i still gym every morning with phil and hairul just to become stronger and faster….i know i might have A ALLEGATION OF ME SKIVING FOR ONE TRAINING but that’s for 15’s and that is so long ago….oh pls….

I REALLY LOVE RUGBYand to be dropped for those two invalid reasons SUCKS…it broke my heart and i broke down…tears just came down my fucking eyes when i received the bad news from ian and his riduculous reasons for dropping me in SMU library and i just literally broke down and felt like shit…rugby has nv been political and all…somewhere i can do wad i do best and it is to score and play with the teammates i love and have so much respect for…i miss seagames and that team is going up to the world cup qualifiers..not as strong but it’s just knowing that i am not going up with them; helping them share the burden SUCKS…and i am sorry to not make it up with all of you…sorry uncle rong sorry hairul sorry to all of you…i am just so lost now…and i really am torn…….

God save me i pray…and show me the way..for i am lost and torn by Rugby…

Sexy Cayla, “Crying” Cayla, Amazed Cayla and Angry Cayla “It is good to have an end to journey towards; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” – Ursula K Le.Gui. Hooray! This would be my last entry for my blog and indeed it has been such a wonderful journey of self discovery and self awareness. For this last entry, let me talk about how communication through technology may take over face-to-face/ interpersonal communication. Do you realize that people nowadays rather sms, email or chat with one another through the internet or the handphone? What has happened to the personal touch of communication such as meeting up and having a conversation face to face and being able to see, smell, touch, hear  and ‘taste’ the lovely yet ‘traditional’ way of communication? Today’s entry will be my last and I will show how technology has taken over interpersonal communication by the use of just written words, smses, emails, blogs, youtubes and many more; rather than the best way – the traditional way of interpersonal communication. This is where non-verbal and verbal interaction, the transactional model of communication and also how physical appearance, proximity and exchange bring out the best in communication. Technology is dead and no matter how we communicate through blogs, emails and the World Wide Web, it would never be superior to the face-to-face interaction. Many people who have replaced interpersonal communication with communication through technology do not just lose touch of interpersonal skills but also lose touch of the world. Not only that, they tend to create false identities, become reclusive and introverted, and are left alone. Even though technology in communication has it’s pros such as influencing the world, making the world a smaller place, informing the world of places we would never have been to and infiltrating into communities, yet, these are only means of informing and educating people all around the world and should not be a way of communication. WE cannot lose the traditional interpersonal communication as face-to-face communication is the best way of communication.Even through the pictures of my girlfriend’s lovely and adorable niece, Cayla and the way she communicates to us in her expressions when we were face-to-face, these spoke a thousand words maybe a billion trillion words and even made the family laugh, smile and rejoice in her presence. She not only brought joy and happiness to the family but also has made the house a cosier, warmer and happier place. She is just 4 years old and it was her face to face non-verbal ques that communicated to us. Technology like the camera can capture the memory of the face-to-face interaction I had with her but you could never understand the pleasure and wonderful time I had and felt when I was with her physically. Through the pictures and even from the short clip of her dancing her new routine she learnt in her gymnastic class, you could tell that she is a really fascinating and wonderful girl to be with. Yet you would never know how it really feels to be with her; the greatest pleasure I had. Amazing how a 4 year old girl can have such an great impact on me. But now, we would all rather sms and email than to talk on the phone, talk face-to-face or just spend a little time drinking a cup of coffee and talking with your friends. Has the world become too busy and rush that we have to rely on technology in communication. I believe blogging is a rather good way to show the World what I have learnt and reflected but it can never replace an hour at Starbucks chilling out with friends or strangers from my class and having conversations or sharing what we have learnt and reflect back on Communication. Now, it has come to the end of my blogging assignment and I indeed had a lot of fun. This entry is dedicated to the lovely Cayla that I got to know and became really close to on Monday, 100308. I hope you had fun reading my entries and I might just put entries now and then since I have developed interest in blogging; not that gay after all and thanks to all who have commented on my blog.(:

“Culture is a collective programming of the mind that distinguishes the members of one group or category of people from another.” Yet, these boundaries set by the mind are becoming increasingly marred by the influence of mass media in our everyday lives. Take the TV for example – perhaps the most common source of mass media – how much of the shows or advertisements shown reflect our cultural beliefs? From foreign shows to local dramas, these seemingly glorify divorces, affairs, pre-marital sex, murder, use of body for publicity and violence, all of which are supposed taboos in our relatively conservative society. At this point, I pose a question for all of you to consider and comment on – has your view or perception on any taboo event/act change as a result of mass media? Or do you feel the pressure to give in and adjust your beliefs?

On a personal level, having been brought up by my mother who is very traditional in her beliefs, it has been a struggle to abide by the beliefs she has inculcated in me, while constantly being influenced by my peers who have taken more to the Western culture. Take for instance in my previous entry, pre marital sex is a no-no in my family, yet many of my friends see it as a weakness in me – a lack of manliness perhaps? Such perceptions although would never affect my stance, however it has made it even more obvious, the changing trends and beliefs in people nowadays.

In the recent movie Juno, teenage pregnancy is the main issue addressed and in the movie it was, to a certain extent glorified, although it showed certain difficulties that came with it. Yet, I felt that the main issue – that teenage pregnancy should not even happen – was not tackled at all. In fact, the child was later adopted into a single parent family. Is this the type of culture and belief that we should be advocating? Imagine the message – that teenage pregnancy is acceptable and that by giving the child away we can return to normalcy without ever having to think about the whole issue again – that we are sending to our youth today. This is a message that will be spread throughout the world through the use of a critically acclaimed movie; through the use of mass media. Indeed, some may argue that the movie was simply keeping up with the increasing trends of teenage pregnancy and provides alternatives, instead of abortion, for girls in such a situation. Yet this begets the question – should culture keep up with times or should times abide by culture? After all culture is the fundamental basis that distinguishes us from the various groups of people in this world. It is the root of our identity and the basis to form who we are.

On a local context, in my opinion, Singapore is slowly losing its culture as it evolves into a truly multi-racial country that includes many different races from all over the world. As expats come and make Singapore their home, they bring along their own culture to try and establish or at least maintain their own identity. This has resulted in the lack of a true Singaporean identity. Can you think of anything that truly originated from Singapore? For example, New Zealanders have their Maori Dance that everyone in the world can immediately identify; no thanks to the TV for its broadcasting. This dance has even been copied by teams in Singapore as a pre-routine for rugby games! Yet there is no definitive feature, song or dance that is Singaporean (of course apart from our national anthem…) and known throughout the world. Perhaps what we are most known for is our corporal punishment for criminals. Anyone remembers the Michael Faye case where the American received caning for vandalism, or the hanging of the Vietnamese drug traffickers from Australia? Yes, most foreigners would perhaps link such issues to Singapore, and once again they knew of such issues through TV or the newspaper. But what is more important was the global outcry towards our judicial treatment of these criminals that I am discussing today. This global reaction and outcry resulted in a heated debate that may have led to a change in the country’s stance on such crimes. Thankfully, the government stood by their decisions or once again we would have lost, as a country, our own beliefs and identity as an independent country, void of any international influence when it comes to personal security matters.

Sadly, Singapore is losing its identity as an Asian country where fundamental traditional views on family, piety and personal responsibility are taken seriously. With the greater exposure and glorification of certain taboo issues through the use of widely accepted mass media e.g. TV, Movies, these issues are slowly but surely losing their importance as they become trivialized by the constant attention on them. I can only hope that as future parents, we can see the folly of such influence and work towards inculcating strong and good beliefs in our children so as to maintain and distinguish ourselves as Singaporeans and Asians. For instance, we may be born Chinese, but are we really a true representation of the Chinese culture; or are we simply bananas – yellow on the outside but white on the inside? Go figure, go find your selfs.

References:

http://www.tamu.edu/classes/cosc/choudhury/culture.html, extracted on 27/02/08

Love is in the air and not just love but sweetness and happiness coming along with it. Sex is not what every one of you should be looking for. It’s an act done by MARRIED and loving couples. It is sacred brothers and sisters. Even though I look and deceptively look like I’m not a virgin but I hold one rule that is super important in my life and that is to save it for my wife. It is hard as the world and society have made sex such a commodity and it has become something disgusting and low, it has become something for guys to lust about and for girls to show off. What is wrong with our society nowadays? What has happen to the traditional Chinese values that our ancestors have built in us? Is this nature or nurture or just Western mindset and ways of life creeping into our Chinese values. Many of my friends openly show off their sex life but what good is there as I am not envious but just feel that love is tainted by the wrong things we have seen in love. Sex is not love. ‘Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth it always protects, always trust, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.’ Therefore please find love and not sex and when in love, save it for that precious moment after getting married. If you have lost it, do not get stuck in the cycle or else you would lose yourself and love and lust would be confused.

Love is indeed something no one can explain in words as words are just too not real and love is unexplainable as it’s too wonderful and great to be described in words. But once in it, it is about communication in the relationship to keep the love and passion going for one another and not in physical means. Therefore communication between couples and in a relationship is the most important. Communication has to be truthful and transparent. And nothing can bring two apart with trust, hope and love.